August 9, 2010

Change of heart (or my last post as a missionary)

Posted in Uncategorized at 8:59 pm by Jess Ward

We talk a lot about hearts: broken heart, open your heart, listen to your heart, heart to heart…

But what about a change of heart?

The Book of Mormon talks about one man’s journey from sinner to saint: “And according to [Alma the prophet's] faith there was a mighty change wrought in his heart. . . And behold, he preached the word unto your fathers, and a mighty change was also wrought in their hearts, and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God. And behold, they were faithful until the end; therefore they were saved. . .

“Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?” (Alma 5: 12-14).

Today is my last day as a missionary, and I’m here to say I have had a change of heart. This blog doesn’t have enough gigabytes for me to begin to list how I’ve changed, or how I’ve seen others change, but now I look for the hand of God in my life. I expect miracles not becaue I think I’m anything special, but because my Heavenly Father is just that loving. When I first arrived in New York, I found it so different and strange that I struggled to connect with anyone. Now I’m finding it hard to leave because, well, my heart is here. A large piece of it, anyway.

I can’t believe this is over, but I leave with faith that Heavenly Father has great things in store. I don’t know what, but I am excited, as Jeffrey R. Holland once said, “to see the beauty of life unfold” before me. It’s been an amazing 18 months, but the best is yet to be. Goodbye, New York. Thank you for all you have taught me.

Well, I have to go pack now–but don’t think this is over. I plan on continuing this grand blogging experiment back home, so look forward to more posts and… whatever else I write here. Thanks for everyone’s support!

4 Comments »

  1. Ryan Murri said,

    Sounds like you had an incredible mission. Treasure it always, but don’t worry, life only gets better from here. I think you’ll eventually realize that the test isn’t about what kind of missionary you are on the mission, but what kind of member you’ll be after. The real test is just starting.

  2. Shaun said,

    Thank-you for your great work in the service of the Lord!

  3. Congratulations on serving a good mission. I’ve really enjoyed reading your blog and I hope you will continue writing. Maybe you could post your homecoming talk!

  4. Laura Thompson said,

    Even though I may be many weeks late in commenting here, I can honestly say that your wonderful blog quickly became my favorite blog to read. You have a way with words and infuse them with the Spirit, m’dear! I’m so looking forward to more of your thoughts here.


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